Transcript of the Twin Toddlers Talk

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So these two guys were having an intense conversation over something apparently quite important. Awfully cute!

But wouldn’t you just love to know what they are saying to each other ... what the world was going on inside their little brains? Lucky for all of you I can understand ‘baby’ – although I can’t speak it very well – and can translate the rambling conversation for you right now. I have even included the video timeline so you can more easily associate the actions with the dialogue.  

0:02 Baby 1 (B1) Hey man, what’s going on?

0:05 Baby 2 (B2) Nothing bro I’m just fooling around doing some stretches before I have a brew.

0:07 Oh that reminds me, I was in the locker room at the gym the other day and you know Greg Pritchell that really fat white guys who thinks he’s gonna be a sumo wrestler or whatever?

0:14 B2 He he, yeah

0:16 B1 Yeah, well he was in there trying to show us all his moves like stomping his feet and waving his arms around and yelling ‘war cries’ like a retarded Caucasian Kung-Fu Panda.

0:20 B2 Ha ha ... wait wait was it like this *mimics actions*

0:23 B1 Yeah exactly! So anyway I tell him, “listen man that’s kinda racist you need to show some respect for those professional athletes and stop mocking them” … you know, just yanking his chain a little.

0:28 B2 he he yeah

0:29 B1 And HE goes “how dare you accuse me of mocking my Sumo, I would never disrespect my Japanese Sumo heritage”

0:33 B2 *hold up hand* wait what?? Pritchell said “MY sumo Japanese Sumo heritage?”

0:36 B1 Yeah, he thinks he actually IS a Sum from Japan or something so I’m like whoa, whoa, whoa whaaaaaaat the face?

0:40 B2 No, no no this is crazy talk!

0:43 B1 I know tell me about it man ... unbelievable hey!

0:47 B2 he he he

0:48 At this point they seem to pause for a moment and kind of let that crazy concept sink in – possibly thinking about all the fun they could have at this guy’s expense.

0:50 B1 So what do you think we should do, start calling him “Pritchellson”?

0:53 B2 Yeah and when we see him be like “Wax on” *waving arm*

0:55 B1 … *also waving arm* and “Wax off” and “catch that fly in your chop sticks Pritchellson”

0:58 B2 he he he

Then suddenly B2 just says …

1:01 B2 maybe we should just karate his arse! *does karate chop motion*

1:05 B2 … You down with that?

1:07 B1 Do you mean for real … *moves closer to B2* … like just jump him and beat him up to teach him a lesson?

1:14 B2 he he

1:15 B1 Your really serious about this?

1:17 B2 Ha no, no, no I was only playing, Prtichell’s alright

1:19 B1 Oh man, thank goodness! You had me going there for a moment. I was thinking, why the heck would we risk our University scholarships with that?

1:27 B2 No, no! I’d never risk my Cal Berkeley Rugby scholarship.

1:29 B1 Yeah man! Because we’re gonna be USA Rugby superstars *turns to the camera for some reason* we’re gonna be making plays and scoring trys …

1:32 B2 … “and breaking necks” *B2 says in the background as he makes a stomping motion*

1:34 *B1 turns back to B2* Well there you go getting all violent again bro. You gotta keep a lid on that. What’s the deal?   

1:38 B2 No, no I was just kidding again. Man you’re too easy to rile up

1:41 *B2 reaches out a hand in supportive reassurance*

1:42 *B1 extends a hand back* … I know, but you’re always provoking me. Why do you do that so much?

1:47 B2 Maybe I should just karate chop you (*more karate chopping motions*) for being such a pansy, he he.

1:50 B1 Well maybe I’ll just pick up the TV (*acting out his threat*) and drop it on your head!

1:53 B2 No way champ! I’ll climb up on the fridge and … and … *stops climbing* (to apparently taste the fridge handle)

1:57 B1 what the hell are you doing bro?! You know you’re scared of heights and probably just get dizzy half way up and fall and hurt yourself.

2:01 B2 No, no I got this

2:03 B1 You’ll be splattered all over the kitchen floor and make a big mess I’ll have to clean up and I’m not going to let that …

Unfortunately the video cuts off right there. But as you can see they were just taking their animated argument into a potentially even more expressive and funnier realm.

If only there were more videos and written tales of these ostentatious twin brothers available.

But wait what’s this? … A link! http://www.twinmamarama.com/

Thanks for sharing Randall family J

I Think I Got a Lemon

Ok, so some of you would have seen this already, but for those of you who haven’t check out the video below. It goes for a while but I’m sure you’ll get the gist of it after just a few moments.

Yes this is … was a real US$250,000+, 2008-ish Lamborghini Gallardo and no it was not just some big corporation publicity stunt … sort of.

Apparently this successful Chinese entrepreneur was fed up with repeatedly having to attempt to fix, the mechanically problematic engine and was so disappointed with the service he received from an authorized Lambo dealer – the car was returned to him with bumps and scratches and with the engine running worse than before – that he hired a team of hard-hat wearing, Smurf-blue jump suited minions to take to the body of the Italian supercar he paid closer to £300,000 with sledge hammers (made in China I bet). The owner himself, one Han Nan (bravo Mr. and Mrs. Nan … took your time coming up with that name didn’t you?) even vented his frustration with a few swings of the hammer, much to the both shock and delight of the crowd.

The philosophy behind this decision revolved around making a statement to Lamborghini and the authorized dealer on ‘World Consumer Rights Day’ (who knew that existed?!?). Whether it would garner any sort of positive outcome for Mr. Nan remains to be seen.

My thoughts you ask? Well my first reaction was “Noooooooooooo!”

My second set of thoughts focused on the belief that there HAD to be a less destructive way to display your customer service dissatisfaction. Here are a few I thought in the time it took for the Smurf minion to reduce that supercar’s body into scrap metal:

• Write an angry letter to Audi AG and the Volkswagen Group – who actually own Lamborghini now
• Post a contemptuous but comical song video about Lamborghini on Youtube
• Blog about it on your personal blogspot.com site
• Telephone a customer service rep and call them a douche bag if they won’t personally send you a new Gallardo
• Go back to the dealer and get all Kung-Fu Panda on their ass until they get it right
• Stalk then kidnap Stephan Winkelmann (CEO of Lamborghini) and demand a new Gallardo as ransom
• Go trade your Lambo in for a Chery A1 (Google it)
• Just Don’t ... repeat DON’T do anything to the car!

But you want to know the real message Mr. Nan sent to the world? That Chinese business people and entrepreneurs are getting so rich on the back of a strengthening and soon-to-be-overtaking-US economy that they can treat US$250,000 supercars like a microwave that stopped heating properly after 4 months that Walmart wouldn’t allow Bobby-Ray to return.

So while I hate to see such a thing of beauty destroyed in the name of public spectacle, Kudos to you Han Nan for trying to stand up to “the Man” … even if all you get out of it is 5 minutes of fame and a slap in the face to the Western Economy.   

The "Impossible" miss? ... noooooooot quite

It’s been a busy at work so far this week so I’ve not had time to construct a decent rant about – though I do have several anecdotes ready to go when time permits. But here is something I saw this morning that I couldn’t help but share as a follow up to my Soccer-bashing session the other day.

Yeah … just to put this “epic fail”, as they called it, into perspective – this guy is paid Millions (most probably) of dollars to do the exact OPPOSITE of what we just witnessed … twice in a row!

Soccer = the world league of overpaid, fo-talented, over acting, whining, pre-Madonnas!

Ok ... I'll leave the poor guys alone now ;) 

Matthew 24:7-8 & 21

It’s Saturday afternoon and I’ve just returned from walking the kids (you know what I mean). That means its prime blogging time – the perfect time to put into words, or video, an interesting, humorous or annoying observation from this past week. But for some reason it doesn’t seem appropriate the piss and moan about sports results, or discuss the circumstances surrounding the very likely possibility of a 2011-2012 NFL lockout, or share with you my brief but amusing encounter with a quintessentially ‘Las Vegas’ drunken reveler in the lobby of the Treasure Island (hotel) at 6:30am Friday morning – not with everything that is going on in the world.

It might be better to leave all those things for another time and instead just reserve some time to reflect on the current state of things and to pray. Pray for those who are trying to survive ongoing conflict in the Middle East and Libya, and cope with recent disaster in Queensland, in Christchurch, in Japan, in New York (crazy bus accident just today), and all around the World. Pray for those closer to us on a personal level – our friends and family members – who are dealing with financial or health or relationship concerns. And of course pray that we ourselves will recognize these things as a chance to gain perspective on what is really important … or perhaps realize what should be most important … in our earthly lives.

Every generation of Seventh-Day Adventism since the denomination began probably had many who felt that the 2^nd coming would happen during their lifetime – based on apocalyptic world events such these. At this moment I don’t think I’m in that segment of my generation, but one thing I’m certain of ... God doesn’t want to see everything He created suffering from these things beyond they can bear and He WILL come back to put an end to it one day!

Revelation 21:4

Don't Deport the Messenger

Please do yourself a favor and watch this Youtube video. I’m sure some of you have already seen it before, but I was reminded of it today and thought it would be prudent to take it in again. Hopefully it will serve a duel purpose in lifting our spirits through laughter, but also increasing our trepidation for the future of the world through a realization that these people and their perspectives are startlingly real.

I like living in America and wish to remain here as a resident so I’ll leave my opinion it at that.

Just watch and form your own judgment. Oh, and although it may seem absurd in the early stages be ready for when the interviewer brings out the map. From there on through to the end it manages to reach another gear of ridicularity (another made-up word I’ll claim) and awesomeness:  

I’ll leave you with one final observation – my favorite line:

Bloke “I have no intelligent guess”. Interviewer’s response “Ok, what about a stupid guess?” J

This Guy ...also Funny with a Capital U

Greetings all,

It takes a real man to admit when he’s not actually the funniest person around. But because I’m not enough of a man to do that I’m just going to introduce this fellow blogger as ‘another funny fellow’.

Click on the link below to enjoy this particular (obviously sarcastic) blog of Mr. Rob Delaney regarding potential baby names for his first child. It’s best to imagine having to call the name out into the backyard, or a public place like a shopping center to get the attention of the (unlucky) tyke:

http://robdelaney.tumblr.com/post/3346553845/help-me-name-my-baby-xoxo

Some of my favorites on the list were Fnigginz, Pocean, Clap Clap, Shith, Goat Boat and of course Sortof.

What were some of yours?